Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Update on Mom...

Has it been a week?/!

Yes, it has! And, it has not been the easiest...too many things going on; too many decisions to make; and honestly, almost too much to cope with.

Tuseday morning I rushed mom to the hospital and she was admitted to their ICU unit. My daughter, Tara, arrived from Phoenix later that night or early Wednesday morning depending on what you consider 12:40 a.m. to be. Sister arrived from Tampa Wednesday night at 7PM.

When we arrived Thursday morning Mom had been moved out of ICU. We all met with the doctor - and he stated that he felt she would not return to the level she had when she was living at home...and that he felt she had weeks or months left.

We jointly made the decision to go to comfort care status (along with keeping her blood sugars stable) and let nature take its course. There will be no tubes or tests. She will not be poked and prodded to find out what caused this episode. She has a Living Will where she made her wishes known years ago...and we intend to honor those wishes.

So she was moved to the nursing home unit of the hospital where she will live the rest of her days in a pleasant and caring environment with activities and health care matched to the level of her capabilities. As her doctor said - she is not in pain...and she is living in a "pleasantly demented state of mind" and that isn't a bad place to be.

We liked the nursing home unit...it is pretty, bright, and they are very caring there. They offer many things that will keep her happy as well as some wonderfully holistic therapies (like aromatherapy, music therapy, and arm and hand massage). They also know that she is Scarlett's M-I-L...and Scarlett does work at that hospital.

Actually, I was expecting a lot of arguments from my daughter. She and her grandmother have a wonderful relationship...but, Tara was the first one to say that this would be the best for her grammy...

So, after ten years of caring for mom...I have had to relinquish that role to others who are more capable of giving her the care she needs. It has been very difficult for me - and I have wavered more than once...but she looked so peaceful yesterday and was smiling and talking to me...and we shared QUALITY time...instead of me being in Caregiver/Nurse mode.

It is like suddenly I have all this time and I don't know WTF to do with it all!

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16 Comments:

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Carole Knits said...

It must be hard to give up that role. I hope you adjust and enjoy this time with your mom.

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger Janet said...

I'm glad to hear she's comfortable and that your daughter is ok with the decision. Sounds like your Mom is in great hands, literally.

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger Hockey Mom said...

Peace to you and your daughter. When you listen to your heart, you hear the wishes of the one you love and you know what to do. She's a very lucky person to have y'all in her life!

 
At 11:25 AM, Anonymous Dave Daniels said...

glad to hear both you and she are doing ok. I've been on pins and needles, but didn't want to intrude. (I lost my young aunt a few days ago, so we're doing our share of grieving right now.)
Hey, with all this time, you might need ANOTHER hobby!

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger Rhonda the Stitchingnut said...

Enjoy the quality time you can get with your Mom for now. Sounds so nice that she so happy in her final days. She knows she is loved. Peace is with her and that counts the most.

Fill your new time slots with long walks and ... what ever brings peace to you. A new schedule will come up in time.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Cookie said...

What a difficult change for you, but one that is in your mom's best interest. It must be so nice to be able to enjoy time with her without worrying as a caretaker must.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I'm glad she is comfortable and I respect your ability to follow her living will, I think that is probably the hardest part. I hope that from now on you have great visits with her in her final months.

I could think of a few things to fill free time!

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger Jen said...

Blessings and peaceful energy to you all as you pass through this transition. It sounds like your mother has the best of care, and you can relax and continue to enjoy quality time with her as long as possible.

Hugs!

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger gemma said...

K-1 P-2 and you can sit right next to her and do that without worrying about what she needs...How lucky that you have her in a safe and caring place that allows you to sleep through the night and spend the best of time with her. Blessings on all of you ....

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Susan said...

I'm so glad your mom's in such a nice place with great amenities. I was my mama's caregiver for many years. I wish I'd had more opportunities to just be a daughter more often. She (perhaps unfortunately) remained with a clear mind and was sometimes very angry about her change in life status. I do understand the time thing. When she was gone, I was at a loss as to what I was supposed to do with myself. My partial answer was a kitten :-) I guess I just needed to take care of something. You know I'm here, right? Love you!

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Sandra said...

Oh Sara, this is hard stuff. What a wonderful daughter your mom has though, and it certainly does sound like she's in good hands. This is the right thing.

 
At 5:17 AM, Blogger Jerry in Tampa said...

Sara - what a LOT to handle - emotionally and physically! You will always be glad for all the care you have given your mother.. Be at peace, my friend..

Jerry in Tampa

 
At 8:18 PM, Blogger Shephard said...

This same thing happened, without warning, to my friend this week. So I can only imagine what this has been like for you to go through. I'm so happy to hear that she is smiling and that there is quality time. That is truly what matters most.
My thoughts are with you, Sara!
~S

 
At 6:55 AM, Blogger Julie said...

It sounds like your mom is in a good place, where they will give her the care she needs. I can't imagine how difficult this decision has been for you. Sending lots of love to you.

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

o sorry to read of this trauma, Sara....I know this has tobe very hard on all of you, but...as you said, your mother had made her wishes known a long time ago, and now, that time has come....
I know you have been a wonderful daughter to your Mom, and you still are, as she moves on to this next plateau....

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Bugsy said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom and wish the best for all of you. This is always a tough situation. It sounds like she is in good hands.

Don't forget yourself!

 

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