It's one of "those" Wednesdays!...
Mom has not been recognizing me...and it has really worried me. Today we were talking and she remembered as she told me - her grand-daughter, Tara, and her other daughter, Mary Ellen, being there to see her.
I kept telling her that it was me - "Salli" (that's what she has called me since I was a child) - and I asked her what my name was...and she said "Salli, just like my Salli." So I just sort of dropped the conversation.
She got this look of concentration on her face and I asked her what she was thinking...and she said "I wonder what Salli is doing?"
Nothing was making sense to me...Scarlett and I headed out for lunch and I mentioned to her what mom had said...Suddenly Scarlett looked at me and said - "I'll bet she thinks you've gone away for a while and she is in respite care." OMG - that had to be it...
After lunch - we walked in - and I acted all happy and excited to see her - and told her - "I'm home!" Her face lit up and she knew it was me...then she said - "Good, when are we going home?"
I gotta tell you I lost it...and I had to tell her that she needed to stay for a while because she wasn't well. She needed to get strong and better before she could come home. I asked her if she liked it there and she said "yes, but, I like home better."
Even though the right decisions have been made - why the hell does it hurt this damn much?